Sweet Regret

The jazz music takes over my soul as I sip my crown on the rocks. My lipstick is smeared all over my cheeks. I have no energy or intention on cleaning my face. I walk around my small studio apartment in my panties and slip silk top not giving a damn about what tomorrow brings. I don’t even care about the moment I’m in now. You’re not here… But I feel like you’re running through my veins. I see you everywhere. I smell you every where. I can taste your salty tongue down my throat. The way out bodies became one. How the passion took me from the moon and back. You were my high. The addicting drug. The dangerous love. I take another sip of the crown. I got to get on without my guy. I think of how you wore rock and roll tee shirts that I would take off as I sat on your lap. The way your cologne penetrated my skin. Mmmmm we were trouble.They way you would pick me up and set my body on the table. Your hands would open my legs and your tongue entered my paradise. My hands would caress my breast as I gave you motivation to keep going. The hot and cold. The beautiful high. The tones of my moan. Like my favorite record I could play you over and over again. My favorite song. Although now the record is broken. I cry when I say your name. The memories are nightmares that crawl through my brain. I can’t wash your scent off no matter how many times I bathe.The more I drink the more tears roll down my cheeks.

I have no sanity.

I don’t know if I know what love is but I know I sure wanted it. Isn’t it a girl’s dream to want to meet Prince Charming? To be walked down an aisle and wear a long white dress? To raise a family? To be a mom. Is that not our dream? But you, you took away the only key I had to unlock my heart, and threw into the deepest depths of the ocean, never to be found by another.

 I sip more crown. Why did you come over? Why did you come back? Why do I love you so much? Opening the door and seeing your face made my heart sink. I didn’t care if you were wrong or right, I wanted to be in your arms. I am broken when I’m lonesome. Oh darling,how I forever want to endeavor in being the best lover you will ever meet. But our love was not patient nor kind. Our love was rude and reckless. We have made a mess. Everyday became harder to breathe with you around, but like a drug I yearned for your presence next to mine. You are exquisitely beautiful. Now the heroine has entered your blood flow. I watch the needle cut your skin and let your magic begin. Cupid was stupid for shooting you an arrow. I sip more crown. My mascara is starting to burn my eyes, as I bathe in it with these tears. I am a coward for letting you be who you want to be. I grew weak as you kissed my lips and your hands gently touched my face. You painted me with your love. You made me glow when your sex  entered my sex. The pounding of your love between my thighs. The way you touched my frame. I will always love you. As we climaxed into the night and fell into a spell. I soaked feeling you. Absolutely exquisitely beautiful. Now that you’ve taken a nap and can’t wake up I can’t help but to feel dark and lost. I sip more crown. You selfish man. Like the Romero and Juliet, O thou Romero is dead. Our reckless love has stopped. I throw the glass against the wall. I thought I was free again, but now I will be haunted by my undying love for you. So, I place myself next to your body and let the needle cut my skin. Because, forever I will love you. Sweet dreams my darling, sweet darling.